I can’t watch you go through this
It hurts me too much
I can’t fix you
I can’t make the problem disappear
I am scared of losing you
I would be lost without you
My heart would break
And my soul would be empty
I am trying to be strong for you
But inside I am breaking
I just feel so useless
In the face of your pain
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
I am so frustrated
But on the other hand, I am content
I don’t mind being inside
But I feel useless
At times all I can do is rest
As I am so brain-tired
My body just won’t work
As it aches all the time
But when I sit and do nothing
I feel guilt for being idol
And frustrated at myself
Because my brain still works
I wish I could be productive
And do something useful
I try but then I can’t
As I get so weary
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
I sit there every day
I feel like I am wasting away
Spending hours doing nothing
It’s killing my brain cells
I think, what is the point?
There is nothing to do
Why do you need me there?
When you never let me help
I wish I could be useful
I wish I could be challenged
I need something to do
Or I am going to go mad
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
When I heard you struggle,
My heart broke
I felt powerless
I heard every bang, every groan
And all I could do was listen
I felt powerless
Then the shot rang out
My heart stopped
I felt powerless
I thought that it was over
That I had lost you
I felt powerless
Then I saw you lying there
And knew you were alive
But I still felt powerless
I could not make you better
I could not heal you
I felt powerless
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
Canker sore
Open wounds
The taste of bile
Chemicals being pumped,
Through the veins
Burning like fire
Fingers up my spine
Grabbing at my bones
Cracking in the process
The taste of vomit
Skin crawling with fire
Harder and harder to breathe
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
I feel lost inside
I feel incomplete
And I don’t know why
I feel unfilled
My heart feels empty
And I don’t know why
I feel despondent
Hard to get up and go
And I don’t know why
I have no energy
My battery is flat
And I don’t know why
I think it's ok not to be ok
To feel low in spirits
But is it ok?
I think it's ok to have bad days
And to feel all alone
But is it ok?
Our culture says we have to smile
And not feel depressed
But is that ok?
We all need help at different stages
But it is frowned upon to ask
And I don’t know why
There is so much need in the world
And it’s overlooked at times
And I don’t know why
We need to change this mentality
And let people know that at time
It’s ok not to be ok.
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
It’s one day at a time,
At the minute
Just taking small steps
In order to keep going
It can be painful
During the times alone,
You beat yourself up
And let the tears roll
You feel useless
Having nothing to do
And nowhere to go
Time is just passing by
But allow the time to go
Do not feel any guilt
Just sit and take the time
To reconnect with you
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
For four years the man ruled
The ruling country of the world
Causing mayhem and chaos
Everywhere he went
Messing with things he did not know about
Denying things he said or did
Covering up his mistakes
With the cry of fake news
Making allegiances with countries,
Where the leaders are dangerous
And forgetting about what matters
To the people on the ground
Ignoring the issues,
That was causing people to hurt
And watching people died
With no concern at all
He posed with the Bible
Bringing God into his fight
Using his name and values
To win people over
He was crass and harmful
But some were blind
They could not see
Just how dangerous he was
On his last days,
He incited violence
With calls for riots
Which ended in death and grief
He could not even admit
That he had lost
His ego was too big
To think he would lose
When it came to the inauguration
He left on a plane
Never even acknowledging,
The new incumbent in the office
It shows immaturity
The lack of compassion for others
Just thinking about himself
As well, somethings never change
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2021
You are haunted by your brother’s death
It follows you everywhere
It shows in your eyes
They are filled with pain
You can’t let go of him
And on one can help
As you have closed the doors
And shut people out
You push people away
And wallow in your pain
As you try to fix those around you
But don’t fix yourself
You need to let others help you
You need to be able to live your life
Not haunted by others
Just let yourself breathe
Jo Anne Kennedy
February 2020
Sitting on my own
In social isolation
No one can visit
And I can visit no one
Coffee shops are shut
Life is on hold again
But even on my own
I am not alone
Because in my loneliness
Others are feeling the same
Distanced from friends
Not connected to the world
But in this, we are not alone
As you have gone before us
Because while you prayed
Your friends were sleeping
When you were arrested, they fled
They denied your existence
And the reality is
That this still happens
You were broken and mocked
No one came to your aid
You died on the cross alone
Feeling abandoned by all, even your Father
So now in the world of lockdown
On the days we are in quarantine
You are with us in our pain
As you have gone before us
Jo Anne Kennedy
October 2020
It is something I deal with daily
It’s like extra baggage on my back
And it is a taboo subject
How can you be lonely in this world?
The answer is easy
It's easy to be lonely in the crowds
To be around people but feel alone
And feeling lost
Anyone with a chronic illness
Knows what loneliness is like
Yes people care and yes they pray
But ultimately the journey is yours alone
It is a journey only you can do
No one can die with you,
That’s a journey that you do alone
Loneliness is a fact of life
But can loneliness be a gift?
How can it be you say?
Because loneliness leaves you depressed
It leaves you feeling empty
But what if in your loneliness
God was trying to get your attention
He wants you to focus on Him
And on Him alone
So He lets that friend leave you
He lets the job go bad
He lets the family member die
He lets the church ignore you
He removes your options one by one
So that all you have left is Him
All you can do is turn to Him
And in Him rejoice at the gift He has given you
Jo Anne Kennedy
June 2020
We were told to stay in
And keep everyone safe
We were told to listen
To what was being said
We were told to be kind
And keep our distance
To help protect this virus from spreading
And to protect the overrun NHS
Most people obeyed
And kept to the rules
Staying indoors and washing hand
To help themselves keep well
But others disobeyed
They broke the rules
They went to beach parties
And shamed themselves
Others went to protests
Standing one on top of another
Spreading the virus with human contact
Making way for a second surge
People can be stupid
They can be inconsiderate
But others are being sensible
Because they know this virus kills
Jo Anne Kennedy
June 2020
It’s the way you walk
With your head
down
And when people
say hello
You don’t speak at
all
This makes people
afraid of you
Your serious dace
intimidates them
And your silence
unnerves them
Which makes them
nervous around you
I see where they
are coming from
I feel the same
sometimes
But other times
you soften
And show me that
infectious smile
And then there is
the glint in your eye
And that cheeky
grin
When you are
winding me up
With your
outrageous comments
It’s those
comments that got me
As sometimes it’s
hard to know
When you are being
serious
Or you are
actually joking
But then that is
me being gullible
Which in turn
cracks you up
And brings around
that laugh
Which makes me
smile
Jo Anne Kennedy
June 2020
