Need to Let Go

My heart is with you

When it’s not meant to be

My heart should be with another

He is all I need

But I want you

Even though I can’t have you

I need to focus on the one

Who truly loves me

And accepts me for who I am

You, I need to let go

But it is extremely hard

When in you are on my mind daily

You will never love me

The way I deserve

As your heart is with another

But how do I let you go

How do I just walk away?

And leave you behind

How do I walk towards the one?

Who I don’t deserve

But who truly loves me

He is the one who deserves my focus

He is the one I truly need

It’s his love that will see me through

He loves me no matter what

He forgives all my sins

And has eyes only for me

What a man is he?

Who just loves me for me?

One who is undeserving of love

April 2020

Jo Anne Kennedy

Overcompensate

I try my best

Actually, I try to be better

I overcompensate

I need to prove myself

Prove that I am the same

That I am equal

That I pull my weight

So they can’t complain

I end up suffering

And unable to do things

So I feel useless

I feel like a failure

But why do I do this?

I have no need too

It is because I am afraid

Afraid of the judgment

But those who matter

They do not care

Their main concern

Is that I take care of myself

So now with time on my hands

I sit back and think

Who or what is important

Whose opinion matters?

What matters is me

That I am well enough

I need to say no to them

And look after myself

My health is important

It makes me able to be and do

To be there for others

And help those in time of need

Jo Anne Kennedy

April 2020

Thank You

To the one who safely delivered me

Into this crazy world

I want to say Thank You

To the ones who stitched me up

When I split my head open twice

I want to say Thank You

To the one who listened to me

When I was at my lowest

I want to say Thank You

To the one who held my hand

When I was scared on my own

I want to say Thank You

To the one who put me to sleep

So surgery could be performed

I want to say Thank You

To the one who saw my pain

And helped me walk through it

I want to say Thank You

To the one who stuck with me

And forced me to do my exercises

I want to say Thank You

To the one who showed me compassion

When breaking bad news

I want to say Thank You

To the ones who took care of me

When I couldn’t catch a breath

I want to say Thank You

Thank you to all those

Who have been there for me

To many times for me to count

I appreciate all the care and support

I have had throughout the years

I want to say Thank You

Thank you to the NHS

Jo Anne Kennedy

April 2020

Wonder Why?

Every day I go to work

And I wonder why

Why am I here

Are we admin even valued?

Does our work matter?

Printing papers, checking emails

How does that help anyone?

Have we a purpose?

It feels like it is nonsense

That we are there fill seats

Or getting in the way

Of the managers who matter

But when it comes down to it

We all need to realise

That no matter what our job is

We all have a part to play

It may feel like it’s not important

The work that you do

You may feel unappreciated

And fed up of staring at a screen

But it important to realise

That there is always someone out there

Who appreciates what you do

Probably more than you will ever know

Jo Anne Kennedy

April 2020

COVID-19

It’s been a strange time

Of panic buying

And a lack of provisions

In the supermarkets

All the shelves are empty

With no roll on sale anywhere

People are stressed

Of this deadly virus

That is rampant on our streets

Countries are in lockdown

Streets are empty

Famous landmarks are left alone

People are sick and dying

PPE is nowhere to be found

And hospital beds are overflowing

New hospitals arise

Nurses are seen for what they are

The true heroes of the NHS

The under-skilled in Boris’ eyes

And now the ones being praised

And applauded by all of us

The unseen ones are now being seen

From the shelf stacks to the lorry drivers

They are risking their lives for us

So I hope when ‘normality’ comes again

These people will not disappear

Behind the class system again

Jo Anne Kennedy

April 2020

Never Going to Know

I am never going to know

What it is like

To say goodbye

To a one true love

I am never going to know

What it is like

To sit at a bedside

And hold their hand

I am never going to know

What it is like

To see them go

Right before my eyes

I am never going to know

What it is like

To have my heartbreak

When the end has come

I am never going to know

What all that is like

And at this moment

That breaks my heart

I am never going to know

What it is like

To be in a world of pain

At the thought of the final goodbye

Jo Anne Kennedy

April 2020

Lonely and Needy

Instead of hating you

And being in despair

Over the things you say

I have come to realise

I need to love you

In your brokenness

You are lonely and needy

So instead of talking back

I am going to love you

However, for that, I will need strength

Because although grace is needed

I struggle with that when it comes to you

But I am forgiven and accepted

So I need to do the same

No matter how much it pains me

Jo Anne Kennedy

January 2020

Too Many Thoughts

Too many thoughts

In my head

Some good, some bad

But all causing confusion

Voices telling me things

Which I don’t want to hear

‘They don’t like you’

‘He is fed up with you’

Lies but still I believe

Because I am insecure

And want to feel the warmth

Of being liked and loved

I need to say no the lies

And think on real terms

As well as focusing on the truth

That I am loved by people

However, the lies still take hold

As when you speak to me

Or don’t speak to me

My brain runs riot

What did he mean by that?

Why did he ignore me?

What did that face mean?

What have I done?

All these crushing thoughts

Hitting my head

Gnawing at my nervous system

And driving me mad

I need to breathe

And to remember

To take everything at face value

And believe I am loved

Jo Anne Kennedy

January 2020

Three People

Three People

This is what he told me

I see three people

One young, one middling and the other old

All outspoken

Three Women

All different ages

But with one thing in common

Their faith

Three stages of faith

A new convert

One with 20 years gone

And one who never said

These three people, he said

All have faith

With two I can see it

But the other one hides it

They all act differently

One judges, causes pain and  manipulates

One sees the world as new

And the other is just holding on

Three people, one faith

Two show Jesus

While one hides him

When actually she really needs him

He said that this one

Would not entice him to faith

Because she is a hypocrite

And only thinks of herself

The other two show him love

They are transparent in their faith

You know where they stand

And where you stand with them

He said it’s better to be open

As closed people are false

And cause damage to those around them

While the others radiate love

Jo Anne Kennedy

January 2020